Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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