my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
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