there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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