He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize