i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
