3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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