im drinking this country out of the recession.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
