Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
