Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm at about main and main street
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
