you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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