i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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