i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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