I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
