Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
