ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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