this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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