Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
