Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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