lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
