i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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