the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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