This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
