Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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