Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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