It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
