Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
