Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
