Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
My liver just broke up with me...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize