my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
