Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My Sexting was not on an AP level
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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