OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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