I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
