That's intense
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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