What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
