What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
