I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
