my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
