thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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