someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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