Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
