Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
