Plan B is the new Plan A
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
