It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize