I'm lost and stupid without you.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
