Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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