i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
