They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
