He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
