im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
