I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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