he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
