Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
