and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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