my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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