Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
