he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
