me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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