that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
