consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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