you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize