You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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