Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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