I wannas sexs uuuuu
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
